On marching forward

Last week I alluded to the fact that I’ve learned all of the forms (three sword forms and one sword fighting form) that a white belt can learn before testing for (and passing and advancing to) yellow belt. And I plan to use the time over the next month (before I can test in mid-January) productively to practice the forms I know and work on the foundational movements in the basic forms as well.

But I also have ADD -- something that was diagnosed close to 20 years ago and that I’ve learned to work with. An interest in different subjects and a somewhat constant search for something new are good traits for a journalist. Those traits, however, may not be so beneficial in whatever my career looks like next. And when it comes to sword training, in the last few weeks or so it has manifested itself as a desire to learn more about various other historical forms of swordplay -- specifically (this time) an interest in figuring out some of the training and sword techniques of the Greek hoplites and the Roman legionaries.

I even went as far as getting myself a (hardened plastic) “waster” sword modeled on a gladius (I watched a YouTube video in which a sword collector warned that it can be addictive -- he’s right, even when it comes to just wooden and plastic training weapons) and am researching replica shields for price and historical accuracy, primarily in terms of use and weight -- aside: I suspect most of the replicas I’ve seen people using on YouTube are significantly lighter than the scutum would have actually been, which Wiki (citing Cambridge University Press) says should have been about 22 lbs!

But perhaps the more valuable lesson came recently. I’ve put my part of the poetry project “to bed” (as we used to say in dead-tree journalism). I’ve hit a couple of other personal milestones. I’ve answered a few questions about how to discern my path moving forward (even though I know I need to figure out the right questions before I start looking for the right answers). But I was nevertheless feeling pretty down as I looked forward.

Then, with the unseasonably warm weather in Boston providing a little extra motivation this morning, I decided to go for a walk. I put on some upbeat music and set out -- “marching” I joked to myself. Then I remembered something I’d stumbled across in my research of Roman training techniques: they started with marching. And more marching. And then more marching. All while under the weight of a lot of gear until the recruit got used to carrying it.

So to some extent, maybe what I’m doing now is marching: getting used to the weight of new responsibilities, commitments, burdens and accountability as I move forward.

“I don’t know where I am going, but I am on my way.” - Voltaire

Picture from: Diary of a Roman Soldier in Britannia

Another unexpected path

So, I was thinking about Thanksgiving and gratitude and the sometimes daunting tasks facing those with a concern about social justice in the world today in the wake of the tragedies that have given rise to the #BlackLivesMatter movement and the fight for women’s rights and reproductive health after the #PlannedParenthood shooting (and the intersection of the two in that the white shooter in the latter -- a cop-killer -- was apprehended alive when unarmed and unquestionably innocent black people have wound up dead in very much less dangerous circumstances).

With all of that to work with, I had thought that this week’s post might be more Quaker and less Shim Gum Do. But I was okay with that and was going to run with it.

Until I discovered that Sa Bu Nim wants my final edits on all 100 poems of the forthcoming book done post-haste.

So this week is the Shim Poetry Do -- at least until that’s done

It took precedence over sword training Monday & today. Hopefully with better time management on my part (especially now that I know that the deadline is Friday) I’ll be able to make it to class tomorrow and Thursday. 

Fortunately I’m in something of a holding pattern: I’ve learned all of the forms I can until I advance to Yellow Belt but the next test isn’t until the middle of January. So as I told Chong Kwan Ja Nim tonight, I have nothing to do but obsess over getting all the details correct for the next month.

In the interim, I shared with a friend a part of one of my personal daily prayers a while back and it seems appropriate to share all of it here this week. It’s a reworking of the Serenity Prayer (and subject to ongoing editing):

God,

Grant me the wisdom to know the difference,

between the things that I can change and those that I cannot.

The strength and courage to change the things I can,

and the fortitude to take on daunting tasks,

knowing that your Spirit and the people You have put in my life will sustain me.

And the serenity to accept that not all burdens are mine, as I am in this moment, to shoulder,

as well as the understanding that things that today may seem like failure may, in fact, represent great progress.